@Cyberdevil Haha same here. I only speak Swedish to my 2 friends on Discord. We can get used to it though ;) Try something new. Although it'll feel awkward at first.
I'm a bit different IRL though. You're not alone about the identity issues.
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Ah we communicate pretty similarly there, also speak/write in Swedish with basically just my two main buddies online, but it's all via email instead of Discord. :P Olskool. For sure, I'm sure we will! It really is helpful to get out of your comfort zone occasionally too...
Ah that's good. :) Curious sometimes how some of the people I interact with here really are for real, sometimes it's more clearly a persona than not, but some you just don't know... some pretty interesting individuals on this site.
@Cyberdevil you can incorporate personas into your vardags-self too. But yes, speaking of the persona it's something you build up/invent in response of the ideal self you want to project to the enviornment on the internet. Or something you build because of demands from others, especially if you're that type that wants to please people XD I happen to be one of them xp There's an advantage to that though, you get to expand on your identity (true self) to become a more interesting person. Haha XD
personas fo' real. I am real...
Yupp that's true, I wonder if I do... some of my online activities have definitely influenced my hobbies but I really trying to think of how they might impact my personality otherwise, not sure, what topics I like to talk about too I guess...
Yeah that's a good way to put it. I'd like to think I really am exactly how I am here too, but that's not true really. It's the optimal version of more than the truly authentic one. But excellence is a habit so... maybe eventually. ;) Yepp I'm definitely the same type! Think it's basically the idea that if you help others you get appreciated; it's a self-gratifying trait in a way. But good too. Whatever the underlying reason doing good is good! And the more you please the more pleasing a world we'll police, a palace of green fields and trees, that sway in a seasonal breeze!
This conversation's definitely getting pretty real. :P
@Cyberdevil Did I sound offensive? That was not the point though...
Ahh regarding the 'this got real' bit? Was just attempting to be witty there. And before that introspective. No offense taken at anything you said! Sorry if it came across that way.
@Cyberdevil yep :) You back from work?
Well it's Sunday. :) I just work days. Prepping for a trip though, next weekend I'll be up North, surveying the plots for summer... sorting out transportation up there's a puzzle... if you don't just rent a car. But expensive then.
How's your day?
@AudioMachina22 *work WEEK days, lmao..
@Cyberdevil lol yeah I don't count the days anymore.. so I get lost with weekends sometimes. XD
Ahh I was thinking you popped up here yesterday specifically because it was a weekend! XD Gotcha. I lose track during the bigger vacations too, otherwise just too much to keep track of to.
Time and dates oughta be a non-essential really. I wish we had a society where we lived due by due more than day by day. Not considering the routines so much as just what we do with our time. Feels like due dates and deadlines are an antifactor to really living like we're meant to.
@Cyberdevil Money is needed for survival, so I understand why people have jobs. It's not like I'm a slacker or anything I just do things I really enjoy. Since I get money from socialen. Haha. Otherwise I'd be working most probably :3
For sure for sure, it's just the way society's been designed, but imagine if there wasn't such a big focus on profiteering, and we actually collectively tried to further our visions and wellbeing over our wallets... there's so much money wasted just on clinging on to old ideaös; so many resources wasted on both marketing consumerism, and on the consumerism itself. Making people buy more, and rely on more services to manage their lives, and take loans, and just in as many ways as possible loan therselves to the system; ultimately for corporation and state to profit on. Most of us give way more than we give back...
I wish our societal design was just different. We could automate a lot of jobs. We could have a base income for everyone. We could collectively spend less, and consume less, and in return not need to spend so much time working to pay for a lifestyle we don't actually need... it'd require an entirely different corporate structure though. The ideal's maybe closest to communism, though as soon as you have a good ideal there comes a hierarchy of abuse; people who feed on the weak and want more at the expense of others. Which just makes it impossible to have a real utopia.
Of course. XD An envious luxury with that automatic income in particular, though I don't envy the other troubles! We all fight our fights; make right on rights! But it'd be cool if the circumstances were better for everyone, I don't think it's an impossible ideal...
@AudioMachina22 Well, today's the 121st day of the year. xD I sometimes do count the days.
Daaamn we're just about a third of the way through then! XD Over a third tomorrow...
@Cyberdevil Good-will, respect and acceptance is something we all should strive for imo... instead of bashing on eachothers flaws. I think conflict is the worst form of evil....
Mmm you're getting wise man. :) Totally agree.
Feels like each of those qualities lends itself to the other qualities too. Like if you respect someone you're prone to treating them well. If you treat them well you accept their shortcomings. If you accept their shortcomings you can zone in on their good qualities; nurture that aforementioned respect. Or something like that...
Acceptance really feels like the key to make any kind of progress to. So important. Then again it's important to challenge to; to find a balance of progress and peace. You can't do everything. You can't have everything. That's alright. You can always still improve, though. If things are bad they can definitely get better.
@Cyberdevil Not everyone in the world are positively oriented... so gotta accept that and see things from their point of view. That way you acquire more power, so we both embrace the good qualities each of us have.
Mmm words of wisdom! And power = opportunity to good.
During my graduation ceremony the principal ended with a quote on how we should embrace each others differences, because everyone has something to contribute. Or everyone complements another. Or something like that. That stood out to me then; stuck with me. An open mind seems a neccesity for learning, and acceptance for furthering.
@Cyberdevil I have a hard time tolerating hostility though... but I want to get better at that. And at times fight back, if that's the smartest option.
Ah yeah that can be tough. I suppose I may just not face as much of it... in real life. But I feel like that can be a mindset too, if you perceive hostility as a threat or a challenge. Llike a game you can win. How can you overcome someone's hostility? How can you get them on your side?
Sounds better in theory than reality though for sure, real interactions aren't my forte either, but online... I think I like playing devil's advocate a bit; trying to disarm people or open them to new ideas. If it works. Less if it doesn't. Been a while since I had a bad interaction really, maybe I'm forgetting how frustrating it can be...
@Cyberdevil So you are a Cyberdevil after all ;)
Or an advocate thereof. :P
The internet's friendly cyberdevil is back!!
Not that I ever left but thank ye Kieran! You're still here too huh! Back too now?
@Cyberdevil yes zaddy
Heey I learned a new word. XD Ehh I can't return that compliment though. That'd be... questionable.
Read my latest news post.
On my way!
wow...it's been a long time. When is Bob's Big Bonanza aka your long digital sabbatical to the Great Northern Norths? Unfortunately I have not been around much this year. When you die on NewGrounds, you die in real life. Little has gone as planned. And I don't mean that in a spontaneous, exciting, or adventurous type of way. That's why the best plans are no plans: little in life works out the way you want it to. Ever seen the Korean movie Parasite. I've gotta several new movie recommendations.
Hey hey, a rare S3C sighting! :D I'm actually up North right now; will be for a couple weeks this time. Initial plantation preparation. This year vacation's split up in four shorter trips and one longer for most of July, so I'll probably be posting my customary 'it's summer so...' post around then.
Brought a laptop with me this time though + wireless modem. Negotiated three extra weeks where I work at a distance part time as to get a bit more time to refurbish stuff up here, so this is the first of those trips.
Too true... though if you're spending less time online does that mean you're spending more time IRL? Making friends? Creative something lasting outside the digital realm just in passing...?
Haven't seen Parasite yet but it's on my watchlist too, seems like a good one.
You have internet out in the wilderness O_O isn't that kinda blasphemous...excluding the bi-weekly library trips...well I guess things change, people grow up, and cannot stay untapped from the Matrix for too long...on the bright side NewGrounds where relish your shorter Summerly absence...
will you be refurbishing printers
that would be the alternative, it's not like I partake in other internet communities, no social media, etc. I work 10-12 hour days, extra time is purely on my own volition, we get few things we can care about in life, so I tend to spend most of my time there. Outside of that I've been helping install solar panels, because the contractors tend to be unreliable and overly expensive- we just work for food. I'm a small, pliable guy with good heat tolerance, so my body type is ideal for work in the attic. I also have been hiking more, started briefly to train for a mountaineering/rescue group but I stopped attending the sessions like a month ago.
All this is good, but not fulfilling as making music and writing online for me. I'm not a victim and am more privileged than most- but I simply cannot fall in line with the things I'm married to. I can't break free of things that are the fibre of my being. The last few months have been a blur...and lately I have been in a dysthymic nostalgia cocoon. No, there's nothing positive about that. Maybe cocoon is not the right word if it implies evolving into something stronger. This is not bittersweet reminiscing of good memories, it's like being stuck in a dream, cajoled to the good parts, only for the landscape to fade, movement becomes rigid, and thoughts/communication fragmented.
Yuupp, it does feel that way doesn't it? I should be on outside working hours at least but now that it's possible, and there's B/P to collect on NG and all... this is why I really prefer being disconnected entirely. XD If there's potential for compromise then it's too easy to compromise!!! Yeah those library visits feel kinda nostalgic now. Just an hour or so every other week or so. Would've been special. Alas, cellphone coverage everywhere now, portable devices, it's too easy.
But I'm not bringing my laptop up on any of the non-work trips! I hope. Different feel without it, though it's not so bad like this either really. Best of both worlds. Work till you can't work no more; then get online and do some good there too... I tell myself...
lmao no printers up here unfortunately XD Non-tech refurbishments.
Ah that sounds like healthy alternative work! Bit like my alternative life in summer deals. Maybe a good way to meet new peeps too; get connections? Potential to branch out wth freelance solar panel installation? Seems like a healthy kind of job. Doing good for the world at the same time. And hiking/mountaineering's awesome. Didn't figure you for that much of an outdoors person! Still hiking though, with group or no? If interest wanes maybe manually powered vehicular contraptions could prove a suitable alternative. Like mountain biking.
Mmm, maybe just need to find the optimal balance between the both of them? Like I feel I'd ideally need to find with this place we have up here. Maybe not stay totally disconnected but still spend more time up here; in nature overall. In a landscape that truly benefits me; feels inspiring and physically cathartic too. Seems easier to alternative between the digital and the real here than down South where there's just no 'real' alternative. Cities feel cagey; sounds constant; overpopulation stifling.
Yeah cocoon sounded like a positive kind of precondition. :) Less positive with sentimental stagnation... sounds like... lethargy? Missing purpose/motivation? The gut can really influence mood too, if you still have such problems...
I don't think nostalgia itself is a bad thing, memories seem good if they're good; it's good to not forget the past if you can also use it to further yourself. Traditions seem beneficial not just in comfort but in that they tie people together; form a foundation for peace and purpose. As they say we all want change, but not so much the change doesn't still feel familiar. Need a balance. Both roots and branches.
Hope you find the right way; balance somehow. Personally I'm starting to feel like real purpose might only be found with family...
I wouldn't say change is something one inherently wants, but it is an inevitable part of life that some people adapt to better. And a lot of change, is quite frankly manufactured BS. You can be bright-eyed, optimistic, and make the best about what's to come, or become a bitter old man yelling at clouds. Or in my case my past self or something.
I think I've wrote about this before in one form or another...1. your purpose at birth is discover to yourself and satisfy your needs 2. a bit later in life, when you begin to understand stuff, your purpose is to learn a cool skill, for the sake of it being fun 3. then you ask, how can I use these skills to learn more about the universe? 4. and then comes the existential question, who am I in this universe, and how can I use these skills to learn about myself? 1. and 4. are essentially the same but approached from a different side. Between 1,2 and 4,1 the purpose can be finding 'love', to which the nearest recipients are family.
Which begs the question, what classifies as a family? Is it the people who raised you? Or is it just a group of people for which you share common interests and values? How important is relation by blood? Are those that are adopted/estranged unable to truly find their purpose? Is a family not complete until you find a romantic partner, and bear offspring? If having children isn't purpose enough, it minimum it gives an imperative.
A biological imperative or frequent exposure is enough to create a familial or platonic bond/love. But we can't force (romantic) love towards or from others that's required (or should be) to marry and make babies. We can't force artistic inspiration. And like you said below...we can't force belief. When we force these things, we create blasphemes and insincerity, an evil in and of itself. Your views as a secular 'outsider' to religion are more friendly than my own. In some traditions (conservative Christianity, in my case- not to say all are like this) if you become a skeptic, you get disowned by family. I can handle disownment, but I will take a lie to the grave if spares others the suffering of the preconceived consequences of not following their path. You write "But whatever people do believe, as long as it doesn't harm anyone", I think fire-and-brimstone teachings and planting inescapable seeds of guilt can be seen as a form of abuse against children, "I wish we'd coexist better as whole. Learn from each other instead of trying to convert or appraise only our individual faiths", this is incompatible with my upbringing by design...for the wage of sin is death. This doesn't mean that you simply disappear in the afterlife, opposed to celebrating with loved ones for eternity- it means you get dragged into a literal fire and are tortured for infinity. All for something not based on a blip of good deeds, but because you lacked the faith to believe in the unfalsifiable. If you truly believe this, there is no room to be respectful of other faiths, you damn well better be trying to convert anyone and everyone!
Mmm I guess so. As you age though I think you start to seek improvement, so maybe change seems like a catalyst for that. For growth. I wonder how this works with the material realm though, we keep opting for newer technical innovation; looking to try new things, but if we don't actually want change at all... is it all just clever marketing? Or do we somehow relate material newness to a personal level of improvement...? Seems like all too similar items can induce boredom overtime. On the other hand you grow an affinity to things the longer you have the them, and become all the more unwilling to throw them away. But maybe that's just with people of a sentimental strain. And it does seem like you tire of new things when you get to a certain age. Maybe it's a search for meaning hmm, the mortal search somehow involves things as well...
Wonder how bitterness factors into this whole equation. Do you get bitter because the world changes more than necessary, or because you don't follow said change as you'd like to. Is worldly progression irrelevant to coming to terms with yourself or are both personal and social and material elements somehow all intertwined with our superimposed ideals...
Hmm that does sound like the natural progression. Seems like there oughta be a fifth step too! The grand revelation. The epiphany of design. That point at which the reason for said progression comes to light. If life was just all about procreation it seems we'd have no need to look for more. So what is the more. That does explain our with time first growing and waning interest in technology, though. Or other alternative functional architectures of the world.
In regard to family, I don't think blood really matters at all. More so we become close to the people we spend the most time with, and so our closest family just so happens to usually be blood-related. But in regard to adoption, I feel like the earliest years in life are bound to have profound implications on how we grow, so if the parents we're born to aren't there during our earliest years it's bound to cause some emotional problems down the line. And I wonder if a mother can really care for a child as much if they didn't conceive it themselves. It seems there may be some biological markers involved there that you bypass with adoption. I don't mean to say those who adopt children aren't doing a great deed, and don't care for their children, but it just has to be a little different... regarding the potential purpose of bearing offspring, I wonder if it just might be the best way to truly become selfless. Feels like it's a trait you can learn the hard way, but with kids it'd be almost automatic. Plus you'd get a sense of close affinity to a being that'd hopefully outlive you, and thus provide you with a certain sense of comfort as you age. Feels like a useful natural cycle, though is it with purpose too? It'd seem like the only meaning in life would be to procreate after all then. But maybe unnecessary to overthink this, and just do; experience life as it's meant to be experienced. I've been thinking.
In regard to those things we can't force: it is said that you like a person more and more the more you see them though, so maybe romance can be grown just by frequent exposure/habit. Like you ca force certain artistic inspiration by routine. If you just make it a habit to write something, for example, for a certain duration each day. Maybe that's no real force of inspiration though, or romance, maybe more so the act of honing... all things improved by devotion and discipline.
Mmm when it comes to religion or the lack-thereof I've grown up in an appreciatively open family... I wonder how I'd handle preconditioning. If a faith was absolute, but I didn't believe it. Maybe I wouldn't be as tolerant. Maybe I'd let myself be brainwashed as to keep the family ties I cherish. Yes, in many ways I do think a strict religious upbringing is a form of abuse. Though on the bright side it can give you a sense of discipline and self-worth too. Some people seem to need it, others less so.
I didn't realize you'd had that kind of upbringing yourself, you've always been open to philosophical ponderings. :O Is this something you do believe yourself? Partially? I realize the fundamental teachings of Christianity for example do make it hard to speak against it, or seek an alternative, or in any way try to bridge teachings, but to be personally most faiths are just such huge logical fallacies. I suppose only when you don't believe them, and have no reason to be bitter about not believing them/haven't grown up in a place where said belief was forced upon you, then you can see them for their potential benefits despite the lack of sense they make...
It makes sense the world is as it is though, and we don't understand each other on so many planes. Or even if we do don't allow ourselves too. Family keeps us in check. Even if blood isn't important per se the people we're raised by definitely are regardless.
almost halfway over already
Yesss it passes fast this one... best make the best of this second half!!!
Cyberdevil
Thank ye thank ye! :) And likewise, suppose you're probably fighting a similar fight!
I mean it'll feel strange to speak Swedish for real, so used to the international online alternation at this point. XD It's like the language shapes your identity a bit.; you're a little different depending on what you talk.