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Bamboo Shoots!

29, Male




Joined on 1/17/04

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Comments (6)

gOod aRT! wHAt aRe YoU goING tO dO At hALloWweEN?

Thanks. :) Well I already did, something simple this year: https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/cyberdevil/inktober-31-happy-halloween

...as for celebrations and such? Not much.

J. K. Rowling, rolling with an A. K. forty seven...

Maureen Morgan can jab me in the eye with a fork instead of the Stork butter. "I just wanna see this dork suffer!" Hee Hee, she said without an ounce of guilt... just wanted to see me fall like an House of Cards, and do unspeakable things to my willy man... or was that Beau Willimon? Or Bill Williamson... or the son of Bill Williams who was addicted to William Hill betting? Getting into debt again, sweating over bills, unable to pay for rare fillet steaks when all of his takings were taken, and he couldn't even call on Liam Neeson to make those mistakes go away. He had to run in order to be safe... so took a plane to the Gowa Regency... and managed to find a place that sold some decent steak, except one piece was taken. And the waiter was Kenneth Williams shouting "ooh matron." Bill wouldn't eat the steak, so the other guests ate 'em. And then turned on Bill and chased him from his table to an outside stable, where he stayed inside holed up with a gun... Well I say a gun, it was a banger sausage, from Bangor, Maine. He got scared, hurled up and shat a Cumberland swirl. Until Liz Hurley arrived on the scene earlier than expected and offered him protection from the ever-rampant Gang Warfare... and even offered warfarin for his blood clots and heart pain, but then he started barfing again when he realised it would cost him an arm and a leg, for medicine to fix the problems in his arms and his legs. Not to mention the carotid artery in his neck. It was giving him jip, and the fucker needed a new hip too... And what about that slipped disc! He was freaking out, so put on some lip balm, sat calm and tucked into a fat balm cake that made his arm ache, then he drank some Swarfega, a Derbyshire cleaner that gave him heart arrhythmia. He became confused and started thinking he was Argentinian! In a dazed fit, he wandered into the woods but it didn't do him no good, and he nearly drowned in the bayous while the animals were baying for his blood. Why couldn't they just pay for his blood? PAY WHO?!?! Show a crazy man some love, y'all! Bill is fuckin' ill and still lost, and it's near impossible to cross this river when it's still full of crocs... and that's the crux of the problem. Croc-a-suck-a-dick-o-diles! Man, how can you ever hope to escape from the Croc-a-suck-a-dick-o-diles! In hot pursuit... literally hot pursuit. More like heat. The fuckers were snapping at his feet, jaws wider than the open mouth of Winona Ryder. But ol' Bill was a known survivor, he had beaten Tuberculosis... in fact it was the closest he had ever come to death, except now... when he was about to become an alligator's stew... or at least a student in How To Die Painfully... But at the very last minute he leapt and managed to get to a rope that was swinging at the time, at the exact same time that Tarzan was singing. It was just enough of a distraction to knock Tarzan into the gloop, and save Bill's life. Tarzan screamed until they could hardly be heard... The good thing is that Bill was hardly hurt, just a few flesh wounds, and a great big gaping hole in his leg. But apart from that and his other 5000 medical issues, he was fine. He would live to fight another day. But only if he decided to live life in another way! BUT HE DIDN'T!! He chose Danger. He was no stranger to the Mystikal record. Plus he had a cave to explore, and some nice dreams... he didn't know he would stumble upon live Thai teens gyrating and being given high ratings on LiveJasmin. Bill was an old hasbeen... which made him perfect for the porn industry! So he partook, in a scene where dicks are sucked. It was like something out of an artbook. But then they slung him on the meat hook! He was about to be cooked for a Thai green curry... and when boiling him alive they were in no hurry... That'll make him think twice about tryna get free cunny!

My God! I wouldn't mind listening to this on my iPod! That fateful story of Bill and his medicinally high log. I mean high as in long. Probably with a high-ass schlong. If he did partake in those movies from which he was fired on. Also I don't have an iPod that just rhymed so right... but it's wrong.

It's N to the LAW with the E and the IETZ! Who writes blogs of text no one ever forgets! Sometimes big blocks of text you can't lift less you're wrecked, and Maureen Morgan looks like she can't even press. Best put that jab to the test long as you're clad in a vest.

Must say I've missed these writings but don't know what to respond. This doesn't turn out so long. My words aren't there when I gong. So I space the small bits and make it seem like they're vacant those in betweens. Rentable, indentable, expendable with a few less non-breaking spaces on this machine.

In real life I've been down with a bug but now I'm clean. System's washed out and serene. My skin it glistens and gleams and seems almost plastic: a vision of greens fed by nutritional memes. Capitalism: unconditional schemes.

But I don't want to get rich or die trying. I don't want to get rich or die and I question the recklessness of sky-diving. I aspire higher things. A trip to Mars on ion wings? If money won't give you bliss why should I waste time trying to attain such: pressure without aim only strains much.

But it's crazy how the world burns in LA. I haven't seen the fires dying flames yet, maybe they'll get a rain check. Just stumbled upon a video of a dude driving on tempty highwaves nearby and it all looked pretty cool. Yeah...

My God! I wouldn't mind you listening to this on My Pod. I don't have an iPod, but I'd like one. Maybe on Black Friday I will buy one. Or die trying. I don't want to get rich and die trying... I want to remain an upset broke little bitch and die crying. Buying lottery tickets more out of hope that I lose than I win. Hoping things never change, and that I'm forever in chains. Why aspire to higher things like church spires? When I can lie, tired, jerking until I expire. Live fast, Die Fat, fuck the slim fast, why be a gym rat? Chicks dig fat... or should I say, have to dig through that. Get yo' goddamn shovels, ladies!

It's good to see you've recovered from a bug, and a clean bill of health. Unlike Bill who has a clean bill of hell, and needs psychiatric and medical help. I don't fancy his chances in the jungles of Indonesia, he's likely to get more injuries and amnesia. Look now he's catching a goddamn fever! Please give the guy some reefer. Keep him from dying, and eyeing to see the grim reaper.

Those fires in LA need to lay low like the foot slaves of Mistress Lay.. la. Hopefully after this there ain't more. Only a big white halo over the place, and a red warning circle over Mr Trump's face.

You're so talented. Always good to see your work.

Nice art.

damn, three new newsposts. i gotta catch up sometime